In Others’ Words #4

Enjoy!

  • I wonder if there’s a color code/rank system for these babushka’s and their headscarves. I bet bright orange means they’ve killed a man.
  • I asked my Russian tutor if there are any puns in the Russian language. She said that people rarely “play with the Russian language, it is a serious language.” A few days later I told a group of students to “blow me.” (during a lesson on Valentine’s Day) Practically every Russian word is only a mis-stressed syllable or vowel sound away from being a sexual word or a normal word with a sexual connotation. I screw up unknowingly so often that I must be the Tobias Funke of Northern Ukraine. Serious language, riiiggghhht.
  • Ukraine – Fix your educational system. It is a hot f%@ing mess.
  • i don’t have the heart to tell my ukrainian students that ice cube, green day, and nickelback are no longer popular musical artists in america.
    on the other hand, i have no problem secretly rejoicing in the fact that i’m cooler than my 7th graders.
  • At my school, between lessons there is always a teacher on duty to prevent kids from smoking. Today, it was Vova. Vova told me that he lets the kids smoke because he doesn’t think smoking is a big deal, because the body needs nicotine. I told him I disagreed and I think that smoking is unhealthy. He told me it’s only unhealthy if you smoke more than 4 cigarettes a day. He followed this up with, “this is only my opinion, but it is the opinion of all mankind.”
  • Looks like it’s a potatoes with a side of potatoes sort of evening dinner.
  • It must be spring time soon- there are 40 baby chicks now living in my bathroom.
  • Dr.’s follow up appointment:
    “Doc, what should I do and what shouldn’t I do to heal faster??”
    “No heavy lifting. Limited movements based on how you feel. Thorough cleansing. Take antibiotics. And mix one part water with one part vodka every night.”
    “Doc, I’m not going to do that last part.”
    “Why not?”
    “I’m just not.”
  • I drew a plane with big round wings ascending into clouds today to explain the English phrase,”up in the air.” When I drew the little window at the tip of the plane my students started laughing hysterically at my drawing. It turns out that I drew a giant erect PENIS with accompanying balls and peehole. Take a moment and picture the drawing for your self. It was by far my worst English lesson to date……….
  • Rockabilly shows attended in the US: 0. Rockabilly shows attended in Ukraine: 2. Incredibly bizarre to be in the midst of American culture from 60 years ago as envisioned by Ukrainians. Music videos of teenagers dancing in abandoned Soviet buildings wearing cat eye sunglasses playing during the break.
  • Today I learned that while you’re getting your hair cut (in the salon, in the hotel, where my NGO is located) you can buy leather jackets, leather pants, sunflower oil and cosmetics. Those go together, right?
    – comment: yep, kind of like buying your laundry detergent and toilet paper at the post office
  • Ah, the perils of using interns to translate documents. My organization’s latest report came back from the kids with the title “Tender Darkness in Ukraine.”
    It is a literal translation, and has to do with our lack of an adjective for “government tender” in English.

 

I wonder if there’s a color code/rank system for these babushka’s and their headscarves. I bet bright orange means they’ve killed a man.
I asked my Russian tutor if there are any puns in the Russian language. She said that people rarely “play with the Russian language, it is a serious language.” A few days later I told a group of students to “blow me.” (during a lesson on Valentine’s Day) Practically every Russian word is only a mis-stressed syllable or vowel sound away from being a sexual word or a normal word with a sexual connotation. I screw up unknowingly so often that I must be the Tobias Funke of Northern Ukraine. Serious language, riiiggghhht.
Ukraine – Fix your educational system. It is a hot f%@ing mess.
i don’t have the heart to tell my ukrainian students that ice cube, green day, and nickelback are no longer popular musical artists in america.
on the other hand, i have no problem secretly rejoicing in the fact that i’m cooler than my 7th graders.
At my school, between lessons there is always a teacher on duty to prevent kids from smoking. Today, it was Vova. Vova told me that he lets the kids smoke because he doesn’t think smoking is a big deal, because the body needs nicotine. I told him I disagreed and I think that smoking is unhealthy. He told me it’s only unhealthy if you smoke more than 4 cigarettes a day. He followed this up with, “this is only my opinion, but it is the opinion of all mankind.”
Looks like it’s a potatoes with a side of potatoes sort of evening dinner.
It must be spring time soon- there are 40 baby chicks now living in my bathroom.
Dr.’s follow up appointment:
“Doc, what should I do and what shouldn’t I do to heal faster??”
“No heavy lifting. Limited movements based on how you feel. Thorough cleansing. Take antibiotics. And mix one part water with one part vodka every night.”
“Doc, I’m not going to do that last part.”
“Why not?”
“I’m just not.”
I drew a plane with big round wings ascending into clouds today to explain the English phrase,”up in the air.” When I drew the little window at the tip of the plane my students started laughing hysterically at my drawing. It turns out that I drew a giant erect PENIS with accompanying balls and peehole. Take a moment and picture the drawing for your self. It was by far my worst English lesson to date……….
 
Rockabilly shows attended in the US: 0. Rockabilly shows attended in Ukraine: 2. Incredibly bizarre to be in the midst of American culture from 60 years ago as envisioned by Ukrainians. Music videos of teenagers dancing in abandoned Soviet buildings wearing cat eye sunglasses playing during the break.

Today I learned that while you’re getting your hair cut (in the salon, in the hotel, where my NGO is located) you can buy leather jackets, leather pants, sunflower oil and cosmetics. Those go together, right?
comment: y
ep, kind of like buying your laundry detergent and toilet paper at the post office
Ah, the perils of using interns to translate documents. My organization’s latest report came back from the kids with the title “Tender Darkness in Ukraine.”
It is a literal translation, and has to do with our lack of an adjective for “government tender” in English.

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One response to “In Others’ Words #4

  1. Keith Sutherland

    I am going to start ending more of my sentences with “It is only my opinion, but it is the opinion of all mankind.” Game, set, match.

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